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#69399 - 01/29/04 06:16 AM snow joke

Hi bird friends. Finally found that old joke we upstaters have about the snow, and with this fierce winter - thought you might get a kick out of it. I'll put blanks where some "fowl" language comes in. (sorry for the length)

Dec. 4th 5:00 pm It started to snow. The first of the season and the wife and I took our hot buttered rum and sat by the window, watching the soft flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was beautiful.

Dec. 8th We woke to a big beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight. Every tree and shrub covered with a beautiful mantle of white. I shoveled snow for the first time in years and I loved it. I did both our driveway and sidewalk. Later the snowplow came along and covered up our driveway with compacted snow from the street. He smiled and I waved back. I shoveled it again.

Dec. 13th The sun has melted most of our lovely snow. Oh well, I'm sure we'll get more before this beautiful winter is through.

Dec.14th It snowed 8" last night and the temperature dropped to about 0; I shoveled the sidewalk and driveway again. Shortly, the snowplow came by and did his trick again.

Dec. 15th Sold our car and bought a 4x4 blazer so we could get around in the snow. Bought tires for the pick-up.

Dec. 18th Fell on my butt on the ice in the driveway. $123.00 to the chiropractor, but nothing was broken, thank God. The darn sky is getting darker again.

Dec. 19th Still cold, icy roads, making for very tough driving. Slid into a guard rail with my wife's car. Probably $2,000 damage or so. She's really p.o'd.

Dec. 20th Had another 14" of the white--- last night. More shoveling in store for me today. That d--snowplow came by twice.

Dec.22nd We are assured of a white Xmas, because another 7" of that ---fell today and with this freezing weather, it won't melt till August. I got all dressed up to go out and shovel, boots, jumpsuit, jacket, scarf, earmuffs, gloves, etc., then I had to pee.

Dec. 24th If I ever catch the s.o.b. that drives the snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his ---. I think he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then comes down the street 100 mph. just to block my driveway.

Dec.25th Merry Christmas. They predict 12" of snow tonight. The snowplower came by asking for a donation. I hit him with my axe. The doctor's think he'll live.

Dec. 26th We got 11 more inches. I must be going snow blind or have a severe case of depression, because the wife is beginning to look good to me.

Dec. 29th The toilet froze and the roof is starting to cave in.

Dec. 30th Torched the house and moving back to California.

#69400 - 01/29/04 07:21 AM Re: snow joke
Rob2 Offline
Classroom Professor

Registered: 03/28/03
Posts: 3068
Loc: Pennsylvania
After a month of below freezing temps and about 5 feet of snow(so far), I can identify with the above sentiments. It seems the only unaffected critters here are the horses and the stupid turkey.

#69401 - 02/05/04 10:50 AM Re: snow joke

That IS alot of snow - and it's still early! More's on the way, so they say. My husband went out and bought a used snowblower last week - storm came, he brought it out and the darn thing didn't even work! Out $200, plus his friend who helped get it over here got a hernia from lifting it, and dropped it on his big toe. His entire toenail is falling off - no kidding. Now, he just bought another used one, but at least it's a John Deere. And, the only reason he got a snowblower is because he hurt his back shoveling!

#69402 - 02/05/04 01:33 PM Re: snow joke
J. Henderson Offline
Coop Keeper

Registered: 08/16/02
Posts: 674
Loc: New York
Before we moved in to our house in the country, the previous owner gave us the name of the man who plowed the driveway for them. We debated getting a snow blower or snow blade attachment to the lawn tractor, but, when we found out a new blower attachment was $1100 and the blade $400, we thought we would try using Ray. I shoveled a lot, but called Ray about five times. We didn't talk price, but the previous owner told us what he charged them. We never got a bill. Before the next winter, I called him and said we wanted to use him again, but wanted to pay him for the previous winter. He explained that he lost his little record book when he loaned his truck one time and had no idea what anyone owed him, so he didn't bill anyone. That next winter was one of the amazing upstate winters -- it almost never snowed. So we never called Ray. The next winter, before we could call Ray, a neighbor with a blade on his ATV asked us if we would like himn to plow for us. I paid him up front the first time, but he came five or six times after that and never asked for any additional payment. He moved over the summer. I called Ray again for this winter and he has plowed three times so far. Hasn't charged us yet.

My wife and I were snowshoeing last weekend. There were some drifts that were five feet high. Our lab was working harder than we were. We didn't bring any chickens along (figured I should mention chickens, at least once).


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